New Restaurant Poem

Is there an emotion conducive to your writing?  There’s an animated short from 2007 called “The Danish Poet”, and in it one of the characters writes best when he’s happy.  I wondered for a while if that was how I was, but now I don’t think so.  Looking back, I’ve written pieces I’m very proud of during times of sadness.  I think the factor that influences the writing is the intensity of the emotion I feel.  If I feel strongly about something, the words come much easier.

Some of my best writing has occurred in places I don’t spend a lot of time.  Occasionally, I go to a restaurant and scribble notes while I eat.  Around 2pm yesterday, I picked a Chinese buffet.  There was hardly anyone there and my waiter spoke very softly.  It was like I was in a library.  I could faintly hear Chinese pop music like someone at the record listening station had taken his headphones off and turned them up.  Something about that sound reminded me of something I love, so I wrote a poem about it.  I hate to be vague, but I don’t want to say what it was until you read the poem I wrote . . . and then I still probably won’t tell you.  I like to see what people think about my work without me telling them what it was I meant to say.  I’m like the preschool teacher that tells the kids to finger paint a gorilla.  I get some pretty messed-up-looking pictures and I say, “Good Job!  You did so well!”

They ask me if
I’ve seen her before
Do I know her face?
Do I know
How she hides at night
And how frightening it is
To be near her
In those hours
After the sun is down?

You can hear
Her voice at night
It’s as loud
As if she were
Standing next to you
But she’s hidden in the distance
She is everywhere at once
After the sun is down

Keep your distance at night
She’ll fascinate you
She’ll mesmerize you
She’ll draw you in
And you won’t know
Until it’s too late
That she’s captured you
Her pleasant darkness
Will swallow you up
And you’ll be hers forever

So I say yes
I know her
I’ve sang with her
After the sun was down
Staring off into a distance
Only imagining she was
Looking back
I never know
Until the morning
Dances across her face
And even then
I’m not safe. 

A friend of mine recently told me how she was puzzled that a person like me who fears rejection can actually want to be open and vulnerable to others through writing and performing.  I’d never thought of that before, but it’s true.  I guess I’ll just try and share my work with as many people as possible, because the more people there are reading/listening, the greater chance that not everyone will hate it.  But to reassure myself, I’ll always remember the quote from the wiseman:

             Haters gonna hate.
-Anonymous

YKR
IKW 

 

Free Write 2

Sometimes I like to watch movies I know will be absolutely horrible.  Like worse than “B” grade.  If you remember anything from Freshman English, you’ll laugh at how poorly these stories play out.  There are characters that no one can relate to or care about and situations that could never happen.  They’re seriously like train wrecks; it’s so horrible but you can’t look away.

But from practice I have learned that the experience of these movies is exponentially enhanced by your company.  The more people you have over, the better.  So, by that reasoning, if you’re alone it sucks.  I decided to watch a gem last night called “Rumpelstiltskin”.  This cinematic masterpiece was made in 1995 and stars no one you have heard of.  It’s kind of a fish out of water type tale where Rumpelstiltskin emerges from a thousand year slumber into modern day Los Angeles and tries to take someone’s baby.  But in this story he doesn’t spin straw, he’s allergic to it.  That’s how they kill him . . . or they turn him back to stone which was how they found him.  It’s just weird on so many levels.  I knew it would be crappy when I queued it up, but I didn’t realize how boring it would be to watch it alone.  You see when you are alone, there is no one to share your commentary with.  When there are other people in the room, you can all pick apart the flaws and add your own silly dialogue like in Mystery Science Theater 3000.  When you’re by yourself, you just end up talking to yourself.  It’ll drive you crazy after a while.

I haven’t seen that many movies I hated in the theaters.  The trouble there is that you can’t add commentary even if you aren’t alone.  You have to be courteous to others (unlike the dude that was quoting the Lion King line by line while I sat next to him).  But the theater has it’s own way of tricking you into believing that the movie you are seeing is worth the 10 bucks you paid for the ticket.  It must  be the screen.  Part of your mind is convinced that there is a standard for these kinds of movies.  I mean that’s why they have the straight to video flicks, right?  Then again, some of the worst movies of all time have been on the big screen.  (i.e. Batman & Robin, Bucky Larson, Gigli, Shazaam, Laserblast, etc.)

I saw a movie recently that wasn’t bad enough to be in the “waste bucket” category, but it wasn’t as good as I had hoped.  ”In Time” staring Justin Timberlake.  For one thing, Justin Timberlake isn’t the most compelling actor.  Maybe he will get better, but I wasn’t moved by his performance.  I could give him the benefit of the doubt since the movie wasn’t that good to begin with.  I liked the concept, though.  That’s what interested me in the first place.  (If you don’t know, it’s a futuristic movie where the currency is time and everyone has an internal clock that counts down when they spend time on rent, food, and other necessities.  When your clock is zero you die.  The rich have the most time and they live forever.  Justin Timberlake is poor, someone gives him a decade worth of time, he becomes a Robin Hood, and so on.)

Also, I’m aware that fiction doesn’t always need an elaborate explanation, but they didn’t even bother with the history of why things were the way they were.  In fact, the opening line is something like, “We don’t know why, but it’s always been this way.”  That disappointed me a little.  I would like a little background.  They didn’t give us any.  And speaking of background, the villain had none.  Well . . . they hint at the fact that he used to be a poor person, but that’s all.  What about making him relatable to the protagonists in some way.  Like he sympathizes with their cause, but he has to fulfill his duties in spite of that.  That’s what I think they were trying to do, but they didn’t pull it off.

So my advice is to check the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.  Most of the time, they accurately reflect the quality of the movie.  But not every movie is meant for everyone.  Some movies only appeal to a certain group.  You have to be able to make your own opinion.  But . . . I’ve already seen “In Time”, so you shouldn’t see it until it comes out on video.  Now that you know it’s less than good, you should RedBox it and invite the homies over.  Don’t watch it alone.

At the Risk of Being Redundant . . . Again

It’s another football season.  Each year I think I’m not going to enjoy watching as much as the year before, but then the sounds of the kickoff resonate through the home theater speakers and I just can’t help myself.  It’s exhilarating.  And it’s surprising every year.  Sure there are powerhouse teams that are consistent, but sometimes they slip and they have a 5-7 season for no good reason.  And there are sometimes the teams that have a history of being mediocre or even doormats but a spark ignites and suddenly they are 6-0 for the first time since I’ve been alive (that’s nearly thirty years, folks).  But through thick and thin, you must be loyal to your team.  It’s important.

So here comes the part where I explain my loyalties and why I like the teams I like.  Yes, I’ve done it all already!  Yet for some reason, it’s still on my mind.  This post is not only for everyone that is still asking me who are my favorite teams are, it’s actually for me as well.  I want this published so it is official.  This is me carving my feelings into the picnic tables.  This is my top five in order.

1) UCA
Yes, thank you for reminding me yet again that they are not an FBS school.  my hope, however, is that on day they will be.  But it would also be cool if they have another year like 2008 where they unofficially won the conference (they were the top team but still not eligible for the postseason).  I mean FCS has a national championship AND a playoff system.  That’s one up on the bigger schools in my opinion.

SCHOOL I HATE BECAUSE I ATTENDED UCA: MCNEESE STATE
(used to be Arkansas Tech, but then we moved up a division)

2)OU
Oklahoma University is my favorite FBS team.  Yes, I said it.  I know most of you would expect me to say Oregon, but by my own standards, it is important to show loyalty to the school where my father and several other family members have attended.

SCHOOL I HATE BECAUSE THEY WEAR UGLY COLORS:  TEXAS

3) UO
I fell in love with the state of Oregon around the same time I fell in love with football.  They just go hand-in-hand, I suppose.  Plus, I like their coach, I love their uniforms (each and every combination), and the duck is just a nice animal.
I do have a question, though.  Is the rivalry between the Beavers and the Ducks as full of hatred as some of the more popular rivalries like OSU-Michigan or BAMA-AUBURN or UT-OU?  If you’re in those places long enough, you find out how these people feel about their rivals.  I didn’t get any of that in Oregon.  Maybe it’s because their all hippies.  If someone knows, please fill me in.

SCHOOL I HATE BECAUSE . . . WELL EVERYONE HATES THEM:  USC

That’s the top 3.  Spots four and five were tough to decide, because they were so close.

4) ARKANSAS
As I said before, I struggled with acknowledging my favor of Arkansas because I didn’t go there.  I was raised on OU.  I was born in Oklahoma.  However, I’ve spent the majority of my life in this great state, and I am proud of it.  Arkansas is a great home, and they have great football fans.  So great in fact that a teenage boy can grow up entirely on the west coast and the second he becomes an Arkansas resident, he is consumed with Hog Fever (it sounds serious because it is).  Arkansas fandom is like a virus that no one knows the cure for.  You can be resistant of it at first, but eventually it will take you over.  Only stipulation though, I will not call the Hogs.  I will act like it, but I won’t do it.  As much as I love football, I have to believe that someday UCA and Arkansas will play each other.  When that time comes, I will admit that I had indeed called the hogs once, but it was when I was in sixth grade and I didn’t know any better.

SCHOOL EVERY ARKANSAS FAN SHOULD HATE ON GENERAL PRINCIPLE:
LSU

5) ALABAMA
I like Alabama mostly because of their great coaches.  Paul “Bear” Bryant was born in Arkansas, and he was one of the greatest football coaches of all time.  People in Alabama idolize him.  They tattoo his face on their backs and name their children after him.  Now, the head coach of Alabama is Nick Saban.  He is one of the top five active coaches in the nation.  He’s good because he is always trying to improve his teams, even after victories.
Also, I was made an honorary member of the Bryant family.  You don’t take that kind of thing lightly.

SCHOOL EVERY BAMA FAN HATES:  AUBURN

 

Well that was my attempt to clear things up for you all (and myself).  If there is any confusion left . . . well . . . ask me again next season.  I may have changed my mind about calling those Hogs.  (not likely)

 

 

YKR
IKW

Free Write

This is Blogsterpiece Theater.  Welcome all readers.  Hopefully there are some of you who reading this blog who were recommended by the Funk Masta.  I appreciate you.

Today I just want to free write.  There’s always a temptation to research and come up with a clever essay about a movie or current events, but right now I just want to ramble about my observations…coherently I hope.

What I am experiencing, and what many of you have surely been through, is this urge to just soak in all kinds of stimuli and not produce anything.  When I am home from work all I want to do is snack, play with my phone, and watch Netflix.  For the past few weeks, that is the sum of it for me.  Now I’m sure everyone has experienced the fatigue that hits you as soon as you walk in the door.  You’ve worked an eight hour shift, and all you really want to do is get outside of your head for a minute and veg on the couch.  Come to think of it, that’s what America is known for.  And that my friends is why we have so many primetime television shows to chose from.  These shows give us the opportunity to escape from our lives and get involved in some else’s.  The writers are great.  They create believable characters that experience (mostly) believable emotions and situations, and before you know it, Meredith, Derrick, Christina, George, Izzie, Alex, Dr. Burke, J.D., Elliot, Turk, Julian, Ricky, Bubbles, Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, Theo, Claire, and even Dr. Huxtable himself are part of your family.  You laugh when they laugh.  You cry when they cry.  You crush when they crush.  You pee when they pee (which is I’m assuming during commercial breaks).

But what happens at the end of episode?  Many of us are left wanting more.  Then you click “next episode” and by the end of the night you’ve watched an entire season.  And on to the next one.

My question is “When have I had enough?”  As a person who wants to be creative for a living, there has to be a point when you are tired of taking and you want to start giving.  When do you realize that your mind needs to do some cardio?  It’s bad enough that my body sits in one place and stares at the tv.  I really don’t want my mind to atrophy, too.  (I was just about to ask wether or not you’d want to have fitness or mental dexterity.  That’s a weird question though, because I’d like to have both.  They go hand-in-hand, actually.  I digress.)

This is just personal reflection, but the way.  I’m not trying to demonize television.  I’ll leave that to the baptist ministers and the fitness gurus.  In fact, I have taken some nice material from shows I’ve watched lately.  (See Funk Masta’s Beef on Episode 15)  One show in particular that I have been talking about is GREY’S ANATOMY.  I find myself asking myself (not out loud) how realistic some of it is.  They use lots of jargon and amazing props and people die a lot, but are some of these things that happen on the show possible in a for real hospital.  First of all, there are two interns (I’m only on season 3) sleeping with attendings.  Two.  I thought interns were supposed to sleep with each other.  That’s less drama for the hospital, right?  Also, I’m seriously wondering what the ratio of patients admitted to patients dying is in real life.  It seems a bit high on the show.  Every time someone is on the operating table, I’m just waiting for something to go wrong.  But that just adds to the suspense that keeps us coming back every week.  They probably milk it for all it’s worth.  I mean there was an episode where a dude had a bomb inside him and they didn’t know it till AFTER he was on the operating table.

We don’t want our lives to be boring, so we wish for those days where there’s a bomb in the OR.  That’s more exciting than coming home and putting clothes in the dryer and making SpaghettiOs for dinner (again).  So breaks in the monotony are good.  I don’t want the breaks to become the routine and I’m finding myself just like a sponge soaking up everything around me.  I want to be a used sponge.  An antibacterial used sponge . . . a uh . . . you know, I don’t really know where I’m going with this sponge analogy.  I guess I was trying to say I want to write more without actually saying it.  Well, there goes that.

 

 

YKR
IKW

Why The Tweet Do I Do It?

The other day, someone said the fact that I tweet alone worried her.  I misunderstood.  I thought she meant that I should wait for people to be around before I start tweeting.  Weird concept.  That actually negates the need for such things like Twitter if you think about it.  But no, what she meant was that the fact that I use Twitter is unsettling to her.  I suppose to some people, it is unnecessary to update the world on your every thought/action.  I thought so, too, before I hopped on the wagon.  So did Zach Braff.  Now he has 146,000+ followers and almost a thousand tweets (eclipsed by many of his lesser known followers).  The point is in this interconnected world, it has become more than just an electronic postcard for the mundane.  It is now what we look to for the bite-size pieces of information the make up our internet diet.

So why do I do it?  For two reasons:

1.  To Entertain
This is the main reason.  I have a desire to connect with others and share my perspective of the world.  That is why I write , and Twitter is like a notebook I have handy all the time.  I can write down my reaction to an issue or my opinion on the last movie I watched or whatever response a certain song elicits when it pops up randomly on my iPod queue.  I post the thought, and people share their thoughts.  I also like to ask people specific questions and see what their answers are.  For example, I asked my friends what question(s) they would ask to tell me apart from the evil robot me.  I got some really funny responses.  So . . . I guess . . . it’s for my own entertainment, really.  I entertain myself.  I just like to know that the things I find amusing are for other people, too.

2.  To Update
I do this far less often, but it is still a handy tool.  I actually have four different twitter accounts.  One is me, of course.  I used it when my phone was broken.  (Hold on, smarty pants.  My computer worked just fine.)  Also, there is the twitter for my band, One Knight Stands.  I use it for promoting gigs and fellow artists.  Then there are the twitter accounts for my show.  I encourage my viewers to use those accounts to contact me and give me questions to answer.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking:  ”Matt, why did you just list the two main reasons why most people use Twitter?”  Well, maybe there are some people who don’t use twitter but read my blog.  I mean I did try to make those reasons unique to me as a tweeter.  There is though a third benefit from Twitter that I have found.  You see, since Twitter restricts posts to 140 characters, it has helped me practice efficiency in my writing.  The shorter format helps me be more aware of useless information in my posts.  If I have exceeded the limit in characters, I examine the post to find unnecessary words or phrases that can be omitted and not obfuscate the meaning.  (Speaking of confusing, aren’t the words “obfuscate” and “obfuscatory” just hard to look at?  But I digress).  In addition to editing the information, I also check longer words and search for shorter synonyms.

So Twitter does have its benefits.  I mean, I don’t use it all the time, but I want people to know that it isn’t evil.  We still have attention spans (some of us), but the wealth of information that the internet offers is so vast that it is better digested in small pieces.  Remember, though, Twitter is not a news site.  To be honest, it’s probably worse than Wikipedia as far as the facts are concerned.  We should all go deeper than the flotsam.  Twitter is just on the surface of a network where we can find the truth if we look hard enough.  (Insert inspirational fanfare)  America.

p.s.  Twitter is open to the public.  Anyone can read what you post, so use your head.  Don’t say things that can get you fired.  That is all.

YKR
IKW

Twitter pages:

Me – @Superpickle1582
The band – @OneKnightStands
My show – @AsktheFunkMasta
Mr. Sock – @TheMrSock

Intro to Passion

I’m working hard lately.  And not just at my job.  I’m also working out with a personal trainer.  How nifty is that?  (Do people say nifty?)  I’ve only had two sessions, and already I’m feeling the effects.  The interesting part about it is how I feel toward my personal trainer.  She’s a very positive person, and she knows what she’s doing.  I got that vibe before she opened her mouth.  She looks like a personal trainer.  The thing is, when she’s working with me and my friends, I have this voice inside my mind that says I can’t let her down.  She’s counting on me.  I don’t know why she would be, though.  This is not a commission based career.  I paid her the money.  When we’re gone after these eight sessions, she will still have the money.  This feeling, though, comes from my competitive nature to be good at something.  I don’t have to be the best, but I want her to know that I am serious about what we are doing.  I want her to look at me and see heart.  Spunk.  Drive.  I want to be seen as a passionate person.

I really get excited about passion.  Yes.  I’m passionate about passion.  I like the sound of the word for one thing.  When I think about the meaning of the word, it gets me excited.  I like knowing that there are people in this world that care about things.  I know I romanticize it, though.  I picture flaming swords and damsels in distress, etc.  But there is more to it than that.  Passion is what brings you joy.  Passion is what gives you purpose.  Passion is life.

I think I’ll touch on this more in the future.  I have lots of ideas for blogs.  Many of them haven’t made it from my brain to my fingers.  This one, well, it just happened that I went from personal training to passion.  I know writing is a passion of mine, so I should make it more of a priority.  How do you make passions a priority?  Should it be easy to do if you care about it that much, or do we let trivial things get in the way?  Tell me what you think.

YKR
IKW

What Have I Been Waiting For?

The right time?  Well the time is now.  I kind of want to apologize for procrastinating, but I could also just, you know, not procrastinate.  I’ll go with that.

Believe it or not, I found encouragement from a fellow YouTuber.  In one of his episodes, he asks the audience what keeps them from doing the things they want to do, i.e. their pet projects.  He said that many people are hindered by the desire for perfection.  That really hit home with me, because I like to be good at something right away.  I don’t know why that is, because I never have been.  When I started playing the tuba, I was bad.  I had a basic knowledge of music, but that only took me as far as rhythm and counting.  It didn’t teach me how to create a full-sounding tone or articulate the notes using my tongue to manipulate the air coming through my mouth and into the horn.  That took years to perfect.  And now I sit in front of a computer screen or pull my chair up to the kitchen table with pen and paper and expect to just pour out beautiful material that everyone will want to read and share with their friends.  No.  It’s lousy, unedited, jumbled crap, and it discourages me.  Yep.

So how do we fix this problem?  Well, another thing I could do is stop seeing everything as a problem with a concrete solution that when applied will fix everything and the “problem” will go away.  (Is that a guy thing?)  This will take a lot of time and a lot of doing.  Staring at a blank page worrying about the perfect opening line will not get me my Pulitzer Prize.  I will commit to this blog and make a reachable goal for myself.  One post a week, no matter how long or how short.  I like a thousand words, but sometimes life happens and we don’t have time for that 1500 word masterpiece on understanding the intricacies of nerddom (coming soon).  This week, I have time for talking about what’s on my mind.  Tada.

As far as I know, it’s not necessary to conceal the identity of the YouTuber that inspired me.  I’m not making money off of his ideas.  The funny thing is, it’s not even a new idea.  It was just presented in a fresh way from a new perspective, and that’s really what we all need sometimes.  So, thanks to Craig Benzine aka Wheezy Waiter for inspiring me to do what I want and to try and not think so hard about being perfect.  If you’re interested in seeing this video here’s the link

Perfection 101:

http://www.youtube.com/user/wheezywaiter#p/u/303/g24lvQajwWM

and here’s his website:

http://www.wheezywaiter.com

I’m mean he’s just a regular guy that has fun making videos.  There are lots of people who make quality stuff, and he recommends them in his videos as well.  Check it out.  See you next week.

YKR
IKW