Allow Myself to Introduce Myself

This year I will be 33.  That’s a good age, I think.  And that’s still quite a few years to 115 which is the age of the ladies I just saw pictures of on the Facebook.  Is it wrong to think that science is lengthening our longevity in such a way that 115 won’t be such a rare age in the future?  Will that be in my lifetime?  Who knows.  Maybe we’ll have invented a way to download our consciousness into a computer program by the time I’m 50 so we won’t need bodies anymore.  That’s a weird thought.  I’ve been listening to too many hippie podcasts.

But what do we look forward to in our lifetime?  Is there anything that you will be surprised that they haven’t figured out in the next few years?  I want to be alive when they figure out how to time travel so that I can come back and tell myself that it happened in some subtle way.  Perhaps I can bribe someone into bringing me a message that the future is fine and I do get my studio office like I was hoping I would.  Sure I could come to my house and tell myself myself, but that would blow my mind too much.  If I showed up at my own house to talk to me, I don’t know if I could handle it.  I wouldn’t know what to say to me.  Future me would probably be judgmental of past me for making dumb decisions, and past me would feel self-conscious that future me knew how I was going to screw up.  When future me arrives, I’ll probably try to act cool and not make a big deal about the meeting.  Past me will totally freak out but try to downplay it like it’s something that happens every day.  Then, future me will probably open with something simple, like “What’s up?”  Past me will take a second to think of what to say and overanalyze it because I know that I know what I’m going to say already.  I’ll probably settle with “Not much.  Just enjoying the present.”  Actually . . . I won’t be that clever.  I probably won’t even be able to speak.  I’m staring at myself from the future.  I know it’s me of course, and I look great!  Honestly I will just have too many questions to ask to even know how to respond.  Fortunately, future me will know that I’m freaking out, so before the moment gets too weird, I’ll start filling myself in with what has happened in the future and why it is I’m here talking to-


Hold on.

This won’t happen.  I know myself pretty well, and unless it’s really an emergency, I won’t want to talk to myself.  I like not knowing what is going to happen in the future, so aside from going back to the past to confirm that I am living in the future, I won’t want to tell myself anything else.  And, coincidentally, I won’t want to hear it.


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