Book Report

This isn’t going to work.

What are you talking about?  

That’s not going to work. I don’t like it.

What’s the matter with it?  I read the book, I wrote the report.  

I can’t . . . no.  It just doesn’t sound like me.

What does that mean it doesn’t sound like you.  It’s a book report.  It’s not supposed to sound like anyone.  It’s a book report.

You think I would use words like this?

What do you mean?  

Oh, I don’t know.  Maybe let’s start with the “sexual tension” you discuss right here on the second page.

I know you haven’t read the books, but there is an awful amount of that going on between the main characters.

Yeah, I know I haven’t read the books, but I’m pretty sure it’s about a bunch of kids.  OK, there’s no sexual tension between kids.

I don’t know.  It’s something you really pick up on as the story progresses.  

Look all I wanted you to do was write a book report for me on Harry Potter.  But I read through this and I think I might know more about it than you do.

Ok then well why didn’t you write the report?

Because I know you like it.

Yeah, but what are you learning if you just have someone else do your work for you?

What the- Are you joking?  Why are you suddenly growing a conscience on me.  You agreed to this a month ago, I’m just now hearing about your reservations?

I had no reservations about taking your money.  Plus our moms wanted us to hang out more so as far as I’m concerned, this is a win win.

Oh, so I see.  You’re holding out on me then.  This is a bogus book report isn’t it?  Why are you smiling?  This isn’t funny.  You’re not supposed to treat family this way.

I’m just trying to get you to see how messed up this is.  You just thought that I would do whatever you asked if you flashed some Jacksons in my face like I’m your butler.  Yeah your dad has money, but that doesn’t mean you can just buy whatever you want . . . or whoever.

I . . . you just seemed excited.  And I remember we went to see that one Harry Potter movie together when we were little.  You loved it.

And you still haven’t read any of the books.

I know enough to see you were trying to pull a fast one on me with this sexual tension bullcrap.

You have to admit that’s pretty funny.  Especially the part where you thought I actually thought that!

It didn’t sit right, but I thought maybe . . . maybe you picked up on something because you’re all smart and junk.

You wanted to read it to find out, didn’t you.

Dude, I almost downloaded the audiobook last night!


Not sure how to write like someone else, so this dialogue came to me instead.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Imitation/Flattery.”


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