This could be the most ironic statement ever made, but I think time capsules are out of date. Sure, back when I was a kid we’d fill them full of old wrappers from candy we liked and slap bracelets from Showbiz Pizza, but now there’s really no point. If someone wants to see what we were into twenty-five, fifty, even one hundred years ago, all they have to do is fire up the old internet box. Actually, come to think of it, those are obsolete, too. The internet is in our pockets now. Not only can I look up what Pepsi cans looked like back before I was born, but if I have the scratch I can buy one and put it on a shelf in my house. No need to go digging in a field somewhere like a character from a Robert Louis Stevenson novel.
So, no, I wouldn’t put anything in the time capsule. Why? Because everything that we could possibly want to put in this time capsule is already in one somewhere. We are obsessed with nostalgia, so the things we would gather to “channel the essence of our current moment” would rehashes of older stuff. We’re all into Star Wars and Marvel comic characters right now, right? Yeah. Just what everyone else was into twenty years ago. The only difference is that the movies they made about comic books when we were kids were mostly crap. So if we really have to have something in there, just put movie posters of Robert Downey, Jr. and Chris Evans in there. I would say also put a Star Wars poster in there, but I haven’t seen a single one on the internet that doesn’t look like someone with way too much time in their mom’s basement made it.
Another alternative for these time capsules, if it’s going to be another thing to add to our nostalgic interests, is to rocket them into deep space. Have you seen what it was that we sent out on the Voyagers? Records. Sure, the space probes are equipped with the means with which to play these golden discs, but by the time they actually reach an intelligent life form in another galaxy, those folks are going to be way past that phase. By then a CD collection is going to be what’s cool to have. Now is the perfect time to start sending updated versions of our hippy peace music or whatever it was we put on those records. Forty years is enough of a gap for these aliens to be able to see just how we have improved our technology, specifically our music delivery systems. In fact, just start blasting flash drives into space full of records. What, those things are like 50¢ a piece now, aren’t they? You can even get one shaped like your favorite Marvel character. Or, if we’d rather the experience be more customizable, we can just send out a space capsule filled with iTunes gift cards.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Time Capsule.”