Funny Feelings

I want to do Stand-up comedy, but I am absolutely terrified.  It’s one of those things that I can picture myself being good at, but I know for a fact that you have to do it hundreds of times before you’re any good at it.  At least, that’s what all the greats say.  If there was a chance that I could get up there and kill though, I would have done it by now.  In my head I want to recreate the times where I’m funny in front of my family.  They all think I’m pretty funny without me even trying, so if there was a chance that the crowd would be like my family, though not my family because I’ll probably say things I don’t want my grandma to hear, I would do it.  The main thing is you have to know your audience.  I don’t actually know who my Stand-up audience will be.  Will I be the one that will appeal to everyone, or will I be extremely niche?  The greats are good no matter who they’re in front of.  The greats know how to handle hecklers without missing a beat, but again that comes from having been up on stage and bombing hundreds of times.

I have a list of potential jokes in my Evernote that I want to try on an audience.  Every time I picture this happening, I confidently start talking to the audience and things happen naturally.  If I was to go do it right now, though, I bet I would be super nervous.  Maybe.  I really do feel comfortable in front of large crowds.  I’ve actually had a few opportunities to entertain and some of them went well.  Once in high school band I was the announcer for a piece called “Vesuvius”.  There was something about that moment that made me want to go off script and improv a bit, and it was a hit.  I got lots of compliments about it.  Don’t know if I would have remembered the moment so well had I not received the good vibes.

So, yes, I procrastinate.  I think of excuses.  I worry.  What really makes me hesitate is that I gain so much pleasure from being entertaining that if I am a failure, it will upset me.  When I read that out loud, though, that sounds ridiculous.  What’s the worst that can happen if I have a bad set?  I’ll remember it for the rest of my life?  Probably.  Another memory I have that I can’t seem to shake is my impromptu speech I gave to campaign for band council in high school (notice how all these center around high school band).  I had to give a quick speech to convince my peers that I would be an asset to the council that plans our fun activities and junk.  I stood up, took a deep breath, and delivered the lamest address in the history of campaigns.  I said, “Even though I’m constantly late . . . I think we can have a lot of fun next year.”  That was it.  Just a quick self deprecation, which got a bit of a laugh, and then a statement of fact that elicited no response from anyone.  I added nothing to the audience members’ lives that they didn’t already know.  To this day I cringe every time I hear those words in my brain.  And every time I tell a joke that doesn’t land.  It’s not a fun feeling.  But I’m sure that my desire to be in front of people will eventually outweigh the fear of failure and I’ll do my five minutes.  It’s likely I’ll be hooked right away.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Too Big To Fail.”


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