I like where I live, although I would be useless if I was one of the people who made brochures and posters to get tourists to come here. The only things I can name are the things I see every day, and I don’t know how to make them sound interesting anymore. What I do like about this town is the speed that it is changing. It have grown exponentially since I first moved here in 2000, and there are always rumors of more plans in the future. There’s supposed to be a huge hospital and a friggin Sam’s Club! I wish I was less excited by that. I am aware of how lame it is that I am in fact looking forward to it, but I might as well embrace it.
As far as me being in charge, I don’t really know what I would do if I was mayor of this town because I don’t really know what a mayor does. Do I get to cut ribbons? I don’t want to do that. Sure one will be fun, but then I will be over it. I suppose if my duties required me to attend all ribbon cutting ceremonies, I would strive to make these events more memorable for me so I don’t feel like I’m wasting my life away. First, I will have a different sequins suit made for each event. No two suits will be the same and no suit will ever be worn more than once. Next, I will somehow create the first pair of scissors that doubles as a guitar so that I can shred a master rock solo immediately after each cutting. Again, no solos will ever be used more than once. Each solo will be recorded and compiled onto a mix cd that will be auctioned at the end of each year for either charity or to pay for all the suits I’m going to need. Finally, all ribbon cutting ceremonies will be held between the hours of midnight and 3am. All attendees will be required to wake up from their deep sleep and come to the ceremony. The mental fog over the crowd will give all the explosions and magic tricks that signify my arrival a more intense effect. Imagine standing in a crowd, eyes glazed, longing for the warmth of your bed when suddenly a concussion grenade goes off and as the smoke clears there I am with a spot light on me, suit blindingly glistening in your tired eyes. People will always remember these events and where they took place. This is likely because of the trauma they experienced, but that is a risk I am willing to take.
Oh, and by the way, each entrance I make for these ceremonies will be to the song “We Built This City” by Starship. No mix tape or party playlist is complete without that song. In fact, you should be listening to it right now as you read this.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “We Built This City.”