Chocolate or Vanilla

So yo think that there are only two kinds of people in this world?

Essentially, yes.  Those that like chocolate and those that like vanilla.

You see, I disagree.  There are just some people that don’t like either.

Well, if you tell people they have to pick one or the other, they will pick the one they prefer.

But what about those people that like neither.  What about the people that prefer strawberry?

Strawberry isn’t a flavor, it’s a fruit.  I’m talking strictly chocolate or vanilla.  People will either pick one or the other.

No they won’t.  Some people don’t like either.

But if you tell someone they have to pick one or the other, they will go for the one that they prefer the most.

Why are we all of a sudden in some kind of distopian world where people are forced to make choices between two things they don’t want?  The world isn’t all black and white, you know?

Sure it is.  There’s a right way and a wrong way.  There’s day time and there’s night time.  There’s a time for laughing and a time for crying.  There’s a time for chocolate and a time for vanilla.

You’re crazy.  You have to account for those that choose not to choose.  That’s also an option.

Not if you put it in front of them and say they have to choose one of them.

What is this scenario?  Why are you forcing chocolate or vanilla on these poor people?  Is there a gun to their head?

No.

Then why is it so important that they make a choice one way or the other?

It’s not.  I’m just saying that if you tell someone they have to pick one or the other, they’re going to-

You’re not even going to get 100 percent, hell 75 percent participation.  Some will tell you to buzz off.

I’m not planning on actually walking the streets like Jay Leno asking random folks which flavor they choose.

Why not?  Instead of sitting here arguing, I think you should grab a notebook and a pen a head downtown for some raw data.  You’re going to need to back this argument up with some cold hard facts.

I’m not doing that.

Why?

Because it’s stupid.

Do it in the name of science.  Hell, do it in the name of proving yourself right.

I just don’t see how you don’t understand what I’m trying to say here.  I’m not a dictator who’s eliminated all flavors but chocolate and vanilla.  There is no crisis that demands people take sides.  I just think that if you ask random people chocolate or vanilla, they are going to pick the-

No I get it.

– one that they prefer.

I’m telling you it’s not that simple.  The world does not work in absolutes.

It’s not- look I’m just saying everyone has a preference wether they like the flavors or not.  

How did we even get on this topic?

We were talking about ice cream.  I wanted some before, but all this debating has made me lose interest.  

Ooo, now I want some.  I’ll buy yours, too, but on one condition.

What’s that?

…

No, thank you.

“Life Is Like A Box of Chocolates . . .”

“You never know what you’re gonna get.”

There is room for argument in this statement, because the first thing that I do when I get a box of chocolates is read the map.  However, I don’t know if I’m going to like any of the flavors.  Plus, if for some reason I am distracted, I am likely to lose my place and forget which way to hold the map.  So really, you might THINK you know what you’re going to get, but you really don’t.  And what if for some reason the machines were malfunctioning that day and all the chocolates were filled with the same disgusting toothpaste flavor?  Then you’re totally screwed.

So is life really like a box of chocolates in the sense that you cannot predict what you are going to get when you pick something out of the box?  Yes.  There are too many factors at play to make an accurate prediction of what’s going to come out of the box and into your mouth.

But what if we could control the outcomes with 100% certainty.

Say, for instance, we were able to actually label each individual chocolate piece with some kind of edible writing to make sure that we know for a fact what flavor each one was before we ingested it.  That sounds like a great idea, right?  No need for that flimsy map that has the potential to rip while you’re fighting over it or getting lost by a negligent cousin who doesn’t understand its importance and never puts things back where they go.  Things have their place!  Anyway, the edible writing sounds great in theory, but it just gives way to more problems.  What if you can’t read?  What if your sweetheart is also your literacy coach, and he or she has a busy schedule and doesn’t have time to walk you through each chocolate before it’s time to return to work at the steel mill?  Well this just puts you right back at square one where you’re playing Russian roulette and in one of those chambers . . . there’s the toothpaste one.

So the edible writing is out.  But what if all the chocolates where all cut in half before they were boxed?  Surely that would work.  You can view what’s inside each chocolate so you’ll successfully avoid the toothpaste one AND there are two pieces to share so you can taste test together when your sweetheart gets off from working a double (plus you know they’re not going to wash their hands before, even though you have asked them on several occasions to be considerate of your feelings and how you don’t like the taste of metal on your food).  But sadly, this attempt at a solution just creates more problems.  The cost of chocolate will go up, for sure.  Cutting each individual piece in half is not an easy job, and if you’re going to meet the demand for boxed chocolates especially around Valentine’s  Day, you will need to hire more chocolate cutters and pay them well.  Unions will likely become involved, demanding better working conditions and more affordable insurance for the cutters.  Obviously you’ll try to outsource to other countries where chocolate cutters are willing to work longer hours and for different types of income like cattle and firewood, but then you have to worry about shipping the chocolate to and from these places.  That can get dangerous.  Between airplanes randomly going missing and pirates attacking the chocolate trade throughout the Pacific, it’s really not worth it.

So as we think back to this famous quote, we really shouldn’t overthink it.  With life as with a box of chocolates, you never REALLY know what it is you’re going to get when you reach in for a bite.  The thing is that sometimes, to your own horror, you’re gonna pick the toothpaste one, and you’re going to bite into it gleefully thinking it was the caramel one.  And that visceral reaction, that look on your face, that’s what it’s all about, because when you do find that one flavor, that one that you hoped to find before your sweetheart does because it’s your favorite and there’s only one of that kind in the box, all the toothpaste chocolates will have been worth it.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Silver Screen.”